My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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