Dual....:-)
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
