I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
