I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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