And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
