have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
