every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you are never too drunk for berry picking
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Drunk is a universal language darling
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
