I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
