loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
