If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
