Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
