You work out of a Hotel?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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