I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
