i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
