do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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