i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
