Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
