You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Randomize
