she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
