Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
