omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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