that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
pray to the hookup gods
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
