She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
