she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
