i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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