some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
