happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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