I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
