im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
