i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
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