Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Who died my cat blue again?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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