I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
