I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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