Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Are we still banned from the library?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
