Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
