Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
