Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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