Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
