Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Alive.
So much puke
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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