Already got asked if we're dating
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize