woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
