I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
