I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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