I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
