I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
