You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
