i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
