dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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