Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
im holly from the hills drunk
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
