That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
