the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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