Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
