woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
