The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
