let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
