i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I don't deserve a penis
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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