i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
