wat bout pragnant strippers??
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
