i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
