did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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