Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
