I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize