Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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