So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
