Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
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Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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