Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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