Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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