yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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