Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
