5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
