If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
